The Book of Divine Consolation of the Blessed Angela of Foligno

[Stone]

A Further Consolation Given unto Her of God


Another time when I was stirred by spiritual tribulation it seemed unto me that for the space of a month I did feel nothing whatsoever of God; yea, it seemed even as though He had wholly forsaken me and I was not able to confess my sins.

Although upon the one hand methought this had happened unto me because of my pride, upon the other hand I perceived my sins so plainly and with such deep conviction that I doubted if ever I should be able to confess them with due contrition, or even declare them with my mouth. For this reason I could neither praise God nor pray; but I perceived that this alone remained unto me of God, that I was not as greatly troubled as I deserved to be for having desired to depart from God through sin, yet I could not have desired to offend God for all the good and evil in the world, or consent unto wickedness. Thus was I deeply and most terribly troubled and afflicted during the whole of the aforesaid time.

Then through the mercy and pity of God there spake unto me a voice and said: "Daughter beloved of Almighty God and of all the blessed saints in Paradise, God hath placed His love in thee and beareth more love toward thee than toward any other woman in the Valley of Spoleto."

Then did my soul cry aloud and answer: "How may I believe this, seeing that I am full of tribulation and do seem to be forsaken of God?"

The voice made answer: "When thou thinkest thyself to be most forsaken, then art thou most dearly beloved and nearest unto the eternal God." And again he added: "A father who hath but one dearly beloved son doth administer unto him delicate meats in moderation, and permitteth him not to drink pure wine; but he doth mingle the wine with water and permitteth him to eat nothing hurtful, in order that his food may do him no hurt but always good. And God doth likewise, mingling temptations and grievous tribulations with His consolations, and keeping the soul in these tribulations and temptations; for if He did not do this, it would plunge into intemperate enjoyments as into a sea and would be drowned. Wherefore, as I have said, when the soul seemeth to be most forsaken, then is it most loved."

Then were my tribulations somewhat tempered, but not wholly taken away, for I did not yet feel disposed to confess and communicate. But in a short time they were all taken away and thus was it told me —

"It pleaseth Me that thou shouldst communicate — because if thou receivest Me, thou hast already received Me, and if thou receivest Me not, thou hast received Me nevertheless. Communicate, therefore, with the blessing of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And do it for reverence of Almighty God, of Saint Mary the Virgin, and of Saint Anthony whose Feast it is to-day; for unto thee shall be given a new and most excellent grace which thou hast never had before."

There was vouchsafed unto me accordingly the grace to confess and the desire to communicate, and I did confess immediately.

Now whilst Mass was being said, I perceived myself to be so full of sins and shortcomings that I could not speak, and I thought that the Communion which I then desired would be a judgment upon me. Nevertheless there was presently granted me such an admirable disposition that I was able to place myself wholly in Christ. Then I entered into Him with a faith and security such as I had never before experienced; I placed myself in Him and in His merits as though I were dead, with an admirable certainty that He would raise me up to life again. Wherefore I communicated in His faith, and there was granted unto me a marvellous feeling which left in me a peace whereby I was given to understand and to feel that all tribulation which had happened unto me was for my good. And this Communion which I received did bring my soul in faith unto this perception and desire — that is to say, I desired to give myself wholly unto Christ because He hath given Himself unto us. Wherefore do I take new delight in the longing for martyrdom, and I desire so much that I rejoice when grief and tribulation more than usual do fall upon me. Hence do I conclude that in the end God consoleth every troubled soul.

Thus I do remember me that, being one time afflicted and believing myself forsaken, I heard it said unto me: "Know, thou beloved, that thou art not forsaken — yea, rather is God nearer unto thee and thou unto God in tribulation than in times more prosperous."

Then cried my soul — "If it be true that I am nearer unto God in tribulation, may it please Him to take away all my sin and through the merits of His Passion to give me free absolution, to give also His blessing unto me and unto my companion, and likewise unto the brother who hath written down these things." And the answer was given me, saying, "Thy sins have been taken away, and I bless you with the flesh of that Hand which was nailed upon the Cross."

Then I beheld that Hand stretched out in blessing over our heads; and I rejoiced greatly at the sight of that Hand, because verily it was a joyous thing to see it. And unto us three He gave His blessing, saying — "The blessing of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit be upon you, and may ye keep it through all eternity." Moreover He said unto me, "Say unto thy brother the writer that he should seek to make himself little, and forasmuch as he is greatly beloved of Almighty God, he must strive to love Him yet more."

Thus in many ways did He deign to console me, He who consoleth all who are in tribulation, unto Whom be honour and glory for ever and ever.